1,001+ Films I’m Glad to Have Seen Before I Die, Vol. 40
Capsule reviews of randomized selections from a very long list of movies that make up my "Personal Canon".
Some things I’ve enjoyed this week!
I went to LA and went to see 15 movies (and six cartoons) in 10 days, all on film, so that was a thing I enjoyed very much! I’m just gonna list everything I went to, even the one I didn’t like (The Wild Bunch) and the one I only kinda liked (Jackson County Jail) because it was all part of the week. Lots of personal stories packed into this one, so it’s a very Special Edition!
1a. Lupo the Butcher (1987 Short), 35mm
A real artifact that epitomizes the Spike & Mike’s Sick & Twisted Festival of Animation that was all the rage in the 90’s. Played before MaXXXine.
1. MaXXXine (2024), 2nd viewing, 35mm
I liked it a bit more. I don’t dislike the ending as much as everyone else seems to, and I definitely don’t think it comes out of nowhere which is a complaint I keep seeing. It’s pretty obvious from the ending of X, and the first scene of this movie, that a showdown with her dad was always the plan. What I think I still struggle with is firstly (and I’m getting into spoilers here a bit), that Maxine is helpless through so much of the finale. Cops come to her rescue. She ends up untying herself anyway, so it would have been so much better if that happened first and she got the upper hand on her own, and then the cops show up (and get killed). It’d also be great to see her take out a few of the cult followers. That ruthless fierceness we get in the alleyway scene never resurfaces, and we need some of that in the ending.
The second thing is that the movie is star-studded, and every character is played by someone we recognize, or have at least heard of. It builds up to a reveal of the villain, and then it’s just some guy. Obviously, he’s in X (barely), but it feels empty here to not have a celeb. I think the actor is fine, but it really needed someone we already associate as being fun and campy. If someone like Robert Englund or Eric Roberts played that role (both attainable goals), I honestly think it would have changed everyone’s perception of the ending.
Other than that, I don’t have anything new to add to my last review (Vol. 38). It really needed more killing on screen. Like, desperately needed it for a variety of reasons. I also remembered another connection to Body Double with a prominent use of a Frankie Goes to Hollywood song.
Another exciting tidbit is I found out a friend of mine worked in the props department, and it was his idea for Maxine to use a SAG card to cut her coke in the final scene, which is amazing! I asked him a couple questions about being on set. 1. Was he there when Mia Goth kicked an extra in the head? and 2. Was it cool? but he has not gotten back to me.
2. Poison (1991), 35mm, plus Q&A with Christine Vachon
A bit unfortunate watching this now that the prison stud, who is supposed to be an icon of desire, looks like Adam Carolla. Setting that aside, this is pretty great, and a really unique way to do an anthology, with the three stories intercut rather than played out one by one. Much funnier than I remembered. The fake documentary is done so well, the quirky “real” people are so wonderfully authentic. The spitting scene made me feel sick. One of the only things that utterly disgusts me. Loved it.
It’s the first feature by Todd Haynes, and it reminded me of a story about him, or at least related to him. When I went to UC Santa Cruz (where I lasted a year), I took a bunch of film classes (shocking). The contextual details are a little hazy on this, but a guy came in for one of the classes, I believe as a guest speaker, and his claim to fame was that he knew Todd Haynes. His whole demeanor was a little cocky, and there was something I didn’t like about him. If you read my recent short story, there’s a character who wears a low-cut shirt showing off his chest hair, and that came from thinking about this guy because that’s what kind of shirt he was wearing. He showed us the Haynes short Dottie Gets Spanked, and he was like, “I want you guys to each come up with one question you have about the film, and then I’m gonna answer it because I know everything about my best friend Todd Haynes.” When it came to me, I was also cocky, and showing off a bit by bringing in my prior knowledge of Haynes’ work when I asked, “So this film obviously has spanking in it. I noticed that in his films Poison and Superstar: The Karen Carpenter Story, there are also spanking scenes. What’s up with Todd Haynes and spanking?” His alleged best friend looked at me in disgust, and got very defensive, insisting that “Todd Haynes does NOT have a fixation on spanking! Next question please!” I haven’t caught it in any later works, but I still maintain that Todd Haynes is definitely into spanking.
3a. Mother Was a Rooster (1962 Short)* adding to Canon, 35mm
Played before The Hand That Rocks the Cradle. Barnyard Dawg places an ostrich egg next to a sleeping Foghorn Leghorn, and when he wakes up, he immediately assumes he is a mother and takes on the role with abandon. He never questions his own role as mother or why his son is an ostrich. When the Dawg calls his son ugly, Foghorn is very defensive, like “Don’t you dare insult my boy, motherfucker,” which leads to the classic Looney gags of them trying to kill each other. Foghorn’s acceptance of things is honestly just so sweet! I was very touched by this cartoon. It might be my favorite Looney Tunes short.
3. The Hand That Rocks the Cradle (1992)* adding to Canon, 35mm
Incredible work. Rebecca De Mornay is phenomenal. So many subtle facial expressions, and her eyes constantly darting around, searching for anything she can use to manipulate this family into falling apart. Never missing an opportunity to be beautifully insidious. So insane, and expertly written and directed. Another classic of high trash!
4. Jawbreaker (1999, Rewatch), 35mm, plus Q&A with Darren Stein, Judy Greer, Rebecca Gayheart, and Julie Benz, moderated by Trixie Mattel
Mean and vibrant! I love how bright the colors are, in contrast to such a dark high school fable. Amazing cast, with Rose McGowan as the obvious standout, really owning the campy, venomous dialogue. Also, this movie has fucking Pam Grier and Carol Kane in the same scene together. It’s a bit of a blasé scene honestly, but still exciting to see these cult icons, together at last!
5. The Wild Bunch (1969), 70mm
The first time (out of three) that I smoked pot, I freaked out and was super paranoid, and I had to take a bus to a party and a guy asked me if I was “frying balls” and then a blind man bumped into me and I froze and had no idea what to do. Then I was at a party, and everything is blank after that, but it was a horrible, scary time. So the next time I gave the old weed a try, I smoked it with my dad and we watched The Wild Bunch. I also took a Xanax, which kept me from freaking out, but it still didn’t feel good in any way, and I didn’t really take in the film, but it seemed bad. (The third time, I nearly had a heart attack and paramedics had to come and take me to the hospital, and I almost died).
So it was great to give the movie another shot, viewed properly, and confirm that it is indeed bad. Or more accurately, just not for me. I like that it’s violent, and that an absurd number of people are killed, but I just couldn’t give a shit about a single person or thing that was happening, and I was very bored. It receives my highest recommendation, however, to anyone who thinks horses do not deserve to live.
6. Star Trek VI: The Undiscovered Country (1991, Rewatch), 70mm
Very fun murder mystery in space, with a zero gravity massacre of Klingons that has their pink blood floating around. Also loved Kim Cattrall’s haircut, Iman’s contacts, and a scene of Kirk fighting his double (a shapeshifter who has taken his form), an action staple I will never tire of.
7a. Big House Bunny (1950 Short), 35mm
Played before Unholy Rollers, but was more thematic to the 2nd feature, Jackson County Jail.
7. Unholy Rollers (1972), 35mm
Claudia Jennings is amazing as a reckless roller derby star with a great pair of sunglasses. Love how we meet her as tough and driven, not taking shit from anyone, and doing what it takes to get what she wants. Then slowly start to realize she may just be insane. Just a wild performance, and almost the complete opposite to what she’s doing in 'Gator Bait. What a talent, and such a sad loss to a car accident when she was only 29.
The trailer for Skatetown USA that played before got a round of applause, as it should.
8. Jackson County Jail (1976), 35mm
The dangers of a road trip, especially for a woman alone. The turning point of the plot is when Yvette Mimieux is raped in a jail cell. Tommy Lee Jones lies in an adjoining cell, basically rolling his eyes, and making no attempt to do anything. Once it’s over, Yvette musters the strength to attack her attacker, beating him with a chair. Tommy immediately bolts up and grabs her arm, and is like, “whoa, that’s enough!” Oh, now you step in, you fuck? He then gets them out and they escape, and he’s clearly supposed to be a likable anti-hero, but I hated him, and was so frustrated it soured the film for me. It does do a decent job of portraying the aftermath of an assault, due entirely to Mimieux’s performance. There’s some other good stuff too, like Mary Woronov showing up, and fantastic opening credits over a projector being threaded. It’s effectively bleak and unpleasant. And it ends on a chase scene through a parade that looks like it’s probably an influence on Eli Roth’s Thanksgiving trailer.
9a. Daffy Duck and the Dinosaur (1939), 35mm
Played before Bringing Up Baby.
9. Bringing Up Baby (1938), 35mm
There were a group of teenage boys wearing baggy clothes who came to see this movie, and they sat by me, and were like “this movie looks hella dope”, and it was very endearing. Cinema is alive!
The movie is pretty funny, and Hepburn especially is hilarious. The movie is really just a series of extended comedy setpieces, and the plot is incidental. Which is great. Not enough Baby, though! What a cute cat!
10. The Palm Beach Story (1942)* adding to Canon, 35mm
David Lynch’s Gordon Cole has got to be modeled after the funny old guy in this, and I bet there could be a whole Lynch/Oz type documentary called Lynch/Sturges. I always see a lot of influence in Lynch’s style of humor. I think he’s mentioned Sullivan’s Travels as one of his favorite movies? Maybe I’m making that up. I can’t find anything about it. Apparently, he mostly mentions Wilder and Tati.
And of course, we all know Rudy Vallee constantly futzing with his glasses is a direct inspiration on Corin Nemec in The Wrong Cheerleader Coach. It’s all anyone talks about in film circles.
The movie is breezy and fun, with friendly characters and jokes that hold up perfectly. There’s a stretch with old drunks on a train that was a chore for me, but otherwise, this is a blast. And it has one of the funniest endings of all time. A quick, out of nowhere, perfect resolution that has never been equaled!
11a. Satan’s Waitin’ (1954 Short), 35mm
Played before Longlegs.
11. Longlegs (2024), 35mm
Cage is certainly making some choices, and his whole look is really something. I don’t know if it really worked out as being scary or unsettling, but I sure liked it! Maika is a little boring, but there are moments where what she’s doing leads to charming, funny awkwardness. I could’ve used more of that. I always want more humor, but even though it’s moody as fuck, at least it’s not entirely serious. I like that it’s about Satanism, and the dolls are cool.
12. Black Narcissus (1947, Rewatch), 35mm nitrate, plus Q&A with Thelma Schoonmaker
Not a whole lot going on here that I would ordinarily care about outside of the “mad nun”. This is absolutely Kathleen Byron’s movie, and I feel like she is never discussed enough, even though it’s her devilish, red-eyelidded expression that is the most iconic image from the film. She’s really extraordinary in this, every moment with her infused with horny madness and a compelling energy. The rest of the movie only gets by on how beautifully composed it all is, which in this case, is enough. It’s a gorgeous film. I appreciated some moments of humor, too. I saw a review from someone at the same screening that said it was “unintentionally” funny, just in case you needed an eyeroll today. Some fun bonus context is that it came from a comedy booker who never booked me, so he clearly does not understand humor.
I’m not especially conscious of the politics of it all (that others have mentioned), but I did notice during a Q&A with Thelma Schoonmaker (who was married to Michael Powell) that she said Powell had been hired at one point to make some pro-war propaganda. She insisted that even though they were indeed pro-war, it didn’t qualify as propaganda because they were creatively and beautifully made films, which I believe would just make them more effective propaganda, right? Isn’t that the very reason we’ve even heard of Triumph of the Will? That was just something that struck me. Regardless, Powell was a great filmmaker, Schoonmaker is a legend, and it was an insightful, touching interview.
This was also my first time knowingly seeing a nitrate print. It turns out The Castro in SF was nitrate-capable, and the Silent Film Festival would often show it, so I’ve almost definitely seen nitrate before. Possibly even this movie. But it was either never advertised as such, or I just wasn’t paying attention, or maybe didn’t know yet what the big deal was. (This just in!: I have confirmed none of that is true. Castro did not show nitrate, I am just bad at researching.) This time was still special because I was able to really to take it in, but to be honest, I couldn’t tell the difference. I’ve also seen a couple things in 70mm in the last week, and was starting to wonder if the difference from 35 was similar to the difference between blu-ray and 4K. As in, not real. They look the same, deal with it 😎. I know that's not really true. My visual perception is probably just off somehow, and maybe I’m exaggerating, but since this is a film involving religion, it seemed appropriate to throw in some cinephile sacrilege and destroy my own projectionist cred in the process. (I still think film is an unparalleled format! And I’m actually turning around my stance completely after seeing Streets of Fire on 70.)
13a. The Super Snooper (1952 Short), 35mm
Played before Stand By Me.
13. Stand By Me (1986, Rewatch), 35mm
Jerry O’Connell is the coolest kid in this movie. The best, most interesting character by a longshot. Not to mention this bit of trivia:
Kiefer Sutherland claimed in an interview that in one of the locations of the film, a Renaissance Fair was being held and the cast and crew attended and bought some cookies. Unfortunately, the cookies turned out to be laced with pot and two hours later, the crew found Jerry O'Connell high and crying somewhere in the park.
It’s a great movie for sure, a deserving coming-of-age classic. Just not a whole lot I relate to. Even the closing lines about never having friends like the ones when you were 12. “Jesus, does anyone?” Yup. I gave it some thought, and the friends I had when I was 12 were utterly insignificant. When I was 11, my best friend was the dumbest piece of shit I’ve ever known. At 12, I was at a new school, and there were some cooler kids I hung out with, but the only person who I’d say was meaningful was a girl named Lisa. She moved away and we lost touch, and it always upset me. This was pre-internet, and I think her parents were weird and protective, so it just became impossible to reach her. So I guess there’s that. Maybe I was just unlucky. It’s not a knock on the movie, just a reason it’ll never be a favorite. I probably knew kids like the ones in the movie, but their interactions don’t bring anything up for me. I still really like it, and appreciate the filmmaking and its portrayal of friendships. I laughed out loud when the leech sucked his dick. Classic puke scene, too.
14. My Girl (1991), 35mm
So sweet, earnest, adorable, and tear-jerking. I love movies where no one is mean. Just a great story, and Chlumsky is killing it.
I hadn’t seen this since it came out, but I have a connection to it because at the time of it’s release, and a couple years following, Anna Chlumsky and I looked identical. And people sure let me know it. It wasn’t until Hanson came along that everyone had a new thing to compare me to. But My Girl will always be my most cherished “you look like” experience. At least in retrospect. As a kid, I abhorred people paying any kind of attention to me.
Missed opportunity for New Bev to play a preshow of trailers for movies with killer bees (The Swarm, The Bees, The Savage Bees, The Deadly Bees, 1313: Giant Killer Bees!, etc.)
15. Streets of Fire (1984, Rewatch)* in the Canon, 70mm
Forget everything I said about 70mm looking the same as 35mm in my review of Black Narcissus. I just needed to see the right film (literally). This print was sparkling and alive! I've never seen anything like it. The opening number of “Nowhere Fast” made me cry. Then it explodes into chaos, with unbelievably fast cutting. A kidnapping, a motorcycle gang, Lee Ving screaming. It starts with such an extended bang. I have to admit I think the opening song is the best scene in the movie, at least until the closing number of “Tonight Is What It Means to Be Young”. If there were a 70mm full concert film of Ellen Aim and the Attackers, I would die of overwhelming. But even after those first 20 minutes of nonstop electricity, the film continues on being exciting and super stylish. Plus everyone in the movie is super hot, but each in their own distinct ways. Hottest for me is Deborah Van Valkenburgh. What an incredible face! But I’m sure everyone has a lusty fave, and they are all correct.
By the end of the film, I start to tire a bit of Michael Paré’s tough guy character. I think it’s critical of masculinity, and closing off your emotions, but he’s still the hero who saves the day. He’s just the least interesting character to me, and I kinda wanted him to lose the fight to Willem Dafoe. The real hero of the film is definitely Amy Madigan, as the thinly-veiled, queer-coded “soldier”. Every line she delivers, and every mean mugging she gives, is iconic (dykonic, if you will). She’s so compelling, well-rounded, and cool. I’m glad she gets the last line of the film. Of course Dafoe is also an incredible presence, and Rick Moranis is fantastic playing against type as an asshole, but still very funny. A totally unique, dazzling film. An all-out banger.
Personal Canon Entries
1. Recorded Live (1975, S.S. Wilson)
This is about film unspooling itself from reels and attacking someone, so there is really no way for it to not work for me. I love that this exists.
2. Halloween 4: The Return of Michael Myers (1988, Dwight H. Little)
I love everything about this movie! The story and how it flowed and the kills and how everyone in Haddonfield is mean and shitty. It’s so good, and Danielle Harris gives one of the best child performances of all time! Plus the ending is so perfect and chilling oh my GOODNESS. Watch my review here.
3. Ninotchka (1939, Ernst Lubitsch)
Greta Garbo's staunch, emotionless Communist is hilarious, and she looks fucking stunning. It loses steam once romance becomes a focus, but the first half of this movie is 30s perfection.
4. Summer Camp Nightmare (1987, Bert L. Dragin)
A summer camp revolution where the kids lock up the counselors and self-govern themselves, and it’s smart and crazy. Co-written by Penelope Spheeris!
5. Jackass: The Movie (2002, Jeff Tremaine)
The jackass guys have a real charm to them, and I appreciate what they’re willing to do just for a laugh! Painful, gross, and hilarious! Giving themselves paper-cuts between their fingers has always stayed with me. I will always cherish seeing this on original release in 70mm IMAX.
6. Tales of the Grim Sleeper (2014, Nick Broomfield)
Riveting, fantastic documentary on a serial killer in South Central L.A. who was not caught for 25 years.
7. Born Innocent (1974, Donald Wrye)
Raw, upsetting TV movie with Linda Blair as a teenage runaway forced to live in a girls correctional facility.
8. Revenge (2017, Coralie Fargeat)
Unrelenting in its tension, in its graphic violence, and in its stylistic flourishes. This movie delivers on everything it sets out to do. And it’s so fucking bloody!
9. Mr. Mom (1983, Stan Dragoti)
Almost nauseatingly charming. Michael Keaton and Teri Garr are so fucking likable here, and it’s just a joy to watch them work.
10. RoboCop (1987, Paul Verhoeven)
The greatest, sharpest, most violent action sci-fi film of all time! Genuine perfection.
MV. Cyndi Lauper: Girls Just Want to Have Fun (1983, Edd Griles)
I mean, come on. One of the most important songs of a generation, with a fittingly adorable video.