1,001+ Films I’m Glad to Have Seen Before I Die, Vol. 38
Capsule reviews of randomized selections from a very long list of movies that make up my "Personal Canon".
Some things I’ve enjoyed this week!
1. Hundreds of Beavers (2024)
I loved the look of this. I’m very smitten by artificial settings in movies. And it’s slapstick Looney Tunes humor is very well done, and really nails the sensibilities of the classic cartoons. It feels like such an authentic update of that style of humor, without feeling hokey or cringy. It didn’t have me in hysterics or anything, but I laughed a number of times. It’s certainly one of the best of the surprising recent trend of movies without dialogue. It does struggle to justify its length given the style (108 minutes for this kind of thing is insane), but it might actually be worth it for how great and incredibly late (1h15m) the title drop is.
2. Kinds of Kindness (2024)
It doesn’t have the magic of some of Yorgi’s earlier work (Dogtooth and The Lobster), but is more in line with those, and at least doesn’t feel like the awards bait of his later ones (The Favourite and Poor Things). The anthology format was great. Felt like a triple feature of movies in that space between short and feature, all working within a theme of uncomfortable devotion to others. It does have one shot that was a missed opportunity to show Willem’s legendary big dick. If it was his choice to tuck it away, that’s fine, but if it was the filmmaker, I’m disappointed. Other than that, really enjoyed this. Loved the ending!
3. A Quiet Place: Day One (2024)
They really made a whole feature film about New York having great pizza.
The cat is amazing. It’s definitely looking into camera in one scene. I love that they keep it alive, no matter how impractical it is. Love Lupita. This is the best one.
One thing that’s missing in this series, though, is showing the dangers of bodily functions. Like sneezing, f*rting, etc. I just think You Shit, You Die would make an amazing tagline for this franchise.
4. MaXXXine (2024)
I really liked this and I like so much of what’s happening on screen, but it does feel unsatisfying in a way. For me, I think it’s partly that with Pearl (one of my favorite characters ever) existing in this world, seeing Maxine Minx again is like “oh yeah, her.” Even though I love X and I love Mia Goth. It’s hard not to yearn for the sequel I really want, which is Pearl 2 (and 3 and 4 and so on, until we get to Pearl X, which is a remake of X from Pearl’s perspective). I know that’s not fair to this movie, but it is something that was lingering over me.
Another thing is it’s a little overstuffed with characters, who we don’t get to know well enough before they’re offed. Only Lily Collins has a rewarding side character role with a couple of great trailer-moment shots of her. Still, there was a definite sadness every time we lost someone because you can feel they meant something to Maxine, despite her tough exterior. It’s also a bit of a letdown as a slasher, though. It would have been nice to see some creative deaths. The only murder (by the killer) that happens on screen is the gay black guy, which feels weird. I don’t know if it’s trying to do/say something by not showing any murders of women, but you’re kinda blowing the progressiveness when the only graphic kill we do see is Black and queer, Ti guy. There are two other retribution kills we see that are decent. One that Maxine gets dressed up and puts on fierce makeup for, which I loved! And there’s a scene in an alleyway that made me want to put my hands in the air and cheer. That happens early on, and it’s a moment the movie never lives up to again.
I loved the setting, and the 80’s-ness of it all. It’s definitely pulling influence from the holy trinity of 80’s Hollywood Boulevard sleaze (Angel, Vice Squad, and Savage Streets), so I appreciated that.
Elizabeth Debicki is great, kinda steals the movie. Her line “Now we’ve all got blood on our hands” seems like it’s supposed to be profound, but it actually makes zero sense as anything beyond what she’s referring to literally. That's not her fault, though. I love the performance.
The ending goes big, but just feels off somehow. Maybe it’s the cops coming to the rescue aspect of it? Or Maxine being helpless through most of it? Or the very unsurprising reveal of the killer? There’s so much mention of the Night Stalker, you almost want it to be him instead. Like some Ryan Murphy shit of incorporating real-life tragedies in the trashiest, most tasteless way. I’d be into that. What we have was probably inevitable (hence being unsurprising), and it makes sense, so I don’t know why it didn’t quite work. My feelings could change on a rewatch.
5. CupcakKe: Grilling Niggas II (2024 Music Video)
One of the best, most underrated rappers, CupcakKe is filthy and hilarious. Her new video rules.
6. The Coffee Table (2024)
A tragedy befalls a couple of new parents, unbeknownst to the wife, and the husband covers it up until he can figure out how to tell her. Hilarious and tense, and remains in a supremely uncomfortable state for nearly the entire film. Really well done, and disturbing without being too self-serious about it. Perfect ending. Wonderful film.
7. Dilating for Maximum Results (2023 Short)
Black, trans filmmaker Nyala Moon’s short covers an issue I’ve never seen discussed in film before, and it’s so cute and goofy and sweet! I really loved this! Only available on Mubi. Her short How Not to Date While Trans (2022) is a delight as well, and can be found on Vimeo.
8. The Killing Kind (1973)
Cannot believe Ruth Roman was in two movies in 1973 where an infantilized man is in a baby crib. What an absolute legend. She’s barely in this, unfortunately, but she’s great in her scene. It’s Ann Sothern who is in the lead role, and she is just spectacular here as an overbearing, overprotective, hysterical mother. Slinging loose bacon around and cracking herself up as she recounts one of her tenants dying in a grocery store. Amazing stuff. Some great bit parts in here too, from Roman, Cindy Williams, Luana Anders, and Sue Bernard, who I’m always fascinated by. She was the least celebrated actress in Faster, Pussycat! Kill! Kill!, the mother of Joshua John Miller, the first Jewish Playmate of the Month (or maybe second), and a talented pinup photographer (I used to have books of hers, but I don’t know what happened to them). She mostly features in this movie in unpleasant flashbacks, but she gets a scene on the phone where she gets to be fun. There’s also a lot of cats in it.
9. Wet Blanket Policy (1948 Short)
A character gets sprayed in the face with black ink, and it’s not turned into a blackface gag, which had to have made Walt Disney’s head explode. Lantz is hardly innocent, and I’m not applauding him just for not doing the easy, cheap, hack, ugly gag, but it’s a moment that I just know Disney (or Looney Tunes or Hanna-Barbera) could not even conceive of not making into something racist.
I do applaud Walter Lantz, and director Dick Lundy, for this short generally, which is packed with clever, weird, and almost grotesque gags. A seedy life insurance salesman is trying to kill Woody Woodpecker to collect on the policy he was tricked into signing, but Woody keeps besting him. It’s fantastic. I’ve watched a few other Woody Woodpecker shorts this week, and they’ve all been really funny and clever!
Personal Canon Entries - Influences on MaXXXine Edition
1. Angel (1984, Robert Vincent O’Neil)
An utterly charming cast of characters from the gutter, trying to avoid the sleazy, misguided wrath of an egg-sucking serial killer. One of the best films ever made about Los Angeles. I doubt Ti West would ever think to include the omnipresence of celebrity impersonators on Hollywood Boulevard (especially in the evening) were it not for this film.
2. Vice Squad (1982, Gary Sherman)
Wings Hauser is a vicious, wide-eyed, absolute fucking maniac named Ramrod in the scuzzy Hollywood streets. As gritty as they come. Wings also sings the amazing theme song, “Neon Slime”.
3. Savage Streets (1984, Danny Steinmann)
The sleaziest rape-revenge exploitation ever, with a tough Linda Blair stalking psychos with a crossbow. Ti West has not specifically mentioned this one as an influence (he brings up Angel and Vice Squad in multiple interviews), but I’m pretty sure there’s one shot that’s taken from here, as well as the idea of doing a full makeover for a night of hunting creeps (this also happens in Showgirls).
4. Body Double (1984, Brian De Palma)
Craig Wasson is a struggling actor who gets fired for being too claustrophobic to shoot a coffin scene in a vampire movie, then comes home to find his girlfriend cheating on him (Barbara Crampton, in an all too brief appearance). He meets Gregg Henry, who helps him out by letting him take over a house-sitting gig. Henry informs him that there’s a house nearby where a woman performs a masturbation dance in the window, every night at the exact same time, that can be viewed by telescope. The next night, as Wasson peeps, he sees a Native American who is also watching the woman. Then the next day, he sees that the Native American is following her. So he follows her as well and randomly steals her underwear, and they end up embracing, passionately kissing as the camera swirls around them for like 10 minutes (it’s amazing). That night, he sees that the Native American has entered her house with a large power-drill, and he runs over to save her, but is too late. The Native American drills through her, and through the second-story floor, so blood pours through the ceiling, in a scene that Patrick Bateman watched over and over again in American Psycho (the book). Later, while watching pornography, Wasson sees Holly Body (Melanie Griffith) doing the same masturbation dance he had become familiar with. So he gets himself cast in a porn movie/music video in order to meet her, and finds out it was actually her dancing in the window, and he starts to piece together that he may have been set up to witness the murder. Does this sound like an amazing movie yet? Because it is. It’s a completely bizarre, stylish murder mystery thriller, and it’s amazing. There’s a lot of De Palma in MaXXXine with its editing and use of split screen.
5. Cruising (1980, William Friedkin)
A serial killer is targeting gay men in the S&M scene, so Al Pacino is sent undercover to investigate, in this thriller of controversy. There are aspects of the story that could be read into as offensive, but I think it’s actually way ahead of its time in that the leathery gay underground is merely the setting for a seedy New York murder thriller, and no overt statements are actually made about homosexuality one way or the other. It’s not exactly going to win over someone who’s homophobic, but it’s not trying to, and there’s something refreshing about a mainstream film showing men making out with, blowing, and fisting each other, with complete nonchalance. As for the quality of the film, you had me at “seedy New York murder thriller,” Friedkin. It’s fucking great, nicely unfolding the gritty mystery (which, once unfolded, is then ripped apart and scattered at the end), and exploring Pacino’s struggles with undercover life. It’s also got an awesome punk soundtrack, and without question, the most insane and incredible interrogation scene of all time. The MaXXXine influence is mostly in tone, and a basic hunt for a serial killer, but it’s one I’ve seen brought up a lot.
6. Psycho II (1983, Richard Franklin)
Miraculously satisfying sequel to a classic for a new era, with new twists and horrific terror. The more obvious influence would be Psycho Part 1, but they do mention this one specifically, and it’s very underrated.
7. Slumber Party Massacre II (1987, Deborah Brock)
This is very, very fun and great. It’s also at least 50% dream sequences, if not more depending on your interpretation. It’s the Rocky IV of horror movies, with dream sequences instead of montages. I can’t think of a higher compliment to give a movie. Also, the killer’s amazing drill guitar on the poster is somehow even more amazing in action. This is the best! I wouldn’t say it’s a direct influence on MaXXXine, but the movie features a female horror director in 1985, and only a handful of women were actually given the opportunity to make horror movies at that time. She’s also making a sequel, and this is one of only two horror sequels I could find that were directed by a woman in the 80’s. The other is Stripped to Kill 2: Live Girls, which is probably more thematically appropriate, but I haven’t seen it yet.
8. Tenebre (1982, Dario Argento)
Great, loopy, loony giallo. It apparently takes place 5 years in the future after an apocalyptic event no one remembers, which is not addressed in the movie, that's just according to Argento. Very fun detail. The part where an arm gets cut off and sprays so much fucking blood on the wall is pure cinema magic. Again, this influence is somewhat indirect. There’s a black-gloved killer in MaXXXine, which is a giallo staple, and I don’t think I have any other gialli in my Personal Canon. I often love the films (and their titles), they just rarely stand out for me in a significant way.
9. Lurkers (1988, Roberta Findlay)
Another stretch, as there’s no direct correlation here, and Findlay is pure New York, but it’s another one from a female horror director, and it touches on the Satanic Panic of the era. It features a Satanist apartment complex, a sledgehammer murderer, creepy atmosphere and plenty of off-putting events! A real horror hit from Roberta! Watch my full review here.
10. Crimes of Passion (1984, Ken Russell)
I didn’t catch the specific influence here, but I’ve seen it mentioned a couple times as one that’s being referenced. The movie is way more domestic drama than I expected. Just a lot of frank discussions about sex and marital fulfillment. Felt very 70s, and specifically what I assume movies by Paul Mazursky or Frank Perry are like. I also wonder if this would have been more successful if Ken Russell didn’t sabotage his mainstream accessibility with the good stuff. Weirdo roleplay, blow-up dolls spitting up blood, blasphemy, sharp dildos, sleaze and perversion, neon-lit rooms shot through a peephole, a sodomized cop, and a music video about silverware. Those are all things I love (and are enough to Canonize it), but then the drama is played too straight, and it does hold me back from embracing the movie as a whole. Anthony Perkins and Kathleen Turner are wonderful, though, and Annie Potts is very good in a thankless role.
Also. Hardcore (1979, Paul Schrader)
This is one of the major ones that’s being cited in other people’s reviews and stuff, but I already included it in Vol. 15.
MV. Kim Carnes: Bette Davis Eyes (1981, Russell Mulcahy)
Great soft-focus, ethereal costume party. The song is fittingly featured in MaXXXine, as it’s a song about stardom. My favorite use of it, though, is actually in The Final Girls, where I first fell in love with it.
MV2. ZZ Top: Gimme All Your Lovin’ (1983, Tim Newman)
Pretty silly video, but the song is also prominently featured in MaXXXine at the beginning of the movie, and is playing as she drives up in a car, so there’s some similarity there.
MV3. The opening credits of Vice Squad, just for funsies.