Your Weekly Watchlist, Vol. 129
Capsule reviews of randomized selections from a very long list of movies that make up my "Personal Canon", and other things I've enjoyed lately!
I had a hectic couple of work weeks, but I’m getting my bearings now and catching up on reviews. This week on “some things I’ve enjoyed this week!” I finally saw a video rental classic, got lost in some rooms in the back, worried about Johnny Knoxville, revisited a camp horror classic, watched the TV show with Nic Cage and complained about a respected actor, revealed my celebrity sex pass, watched more movie theater movie content, read a book by a gay author that was so straight it made me uncomfortable, and reminisced about the time I had a job driving people around New York (not actually mentioned in the review).
1. Mute Witness (1995)
A legendary VHS cover I used to pick up every week, but somehow never brought to the counter to rent. It’s a nice, tense thriller! Lots of chases! Film cans! Snuffy Russians!
2. Backrooms (2026)
I spent 40 minutes the other day trying to find where I parked, there’s no fucking way I’d wander around this maze of endless rooms expecting to find my way back. Except I probably would, for the same reason I didn’t drop a pin at my parking spot. I somehow always forget just how bad my sense of direction is. I cannot even tell you how confidently I walked back to my car, then kept searching a particular area, and I was not even close to where my car actually was. So I would die in the backrooms for sure, but at least I could hang out with that still life woman in the red coat. She seemed cool.
3. Jackass: Best and Last (2026)
The opening scene of a pre-Jackass Johnny Knoxville shooting himself was so fucking harrowing. Like, I was reasonably sure Johnny Knoxville did not die in 1998, but every time the gun clicked and didn’t go off, it was so tense! Aside from that, this was definitely not the Best. Even the old best-of clips were not necessarily their best. Most disappointingly, some of the new cast members have nothing to do. Zach, the big guy, is mostly used as the literal butt of a joke. Rachel Wolfson does not do a single stunt, other than an unexciting one in the intro. I wanted to see more. Of course, the movie is still a lot of fun and very funny. I’m happy to have another movie, but if they’re trying to make a Last one, the one before this would’ve been a perfect place to stop.
4. All About Evil (2010)* in the Canon
I apparently hadn’t seen this since a cast & crew screening, then the premiere, two events that were wasted on me because I don’t even remember being there, and only know I was because I log everything. Why do I do anything? I can’t even remember cool shit! Presumably, I had a good time at the time. And I had a good time this time watching it at home! Brilliantly camp and funny! The killer twins are the best! Everyone in the film crew are so great. Natasha Lyonne really tapping into a craziness I’ve never seen from her in anything else. It’s an honor to have been one of her victims in the finale. And I actually remember the shoot!
5. Spider-Noir Season 1 (2026)
A little overhyped, but pretty good! I just don’t know how memorable it will turn out to be. It kinda seemed the same as everything else on television (note: I have not seen everything else on television, I barely watch anything). Nic Cage is great, naturally. I hated Jack Huston, though. Too serious. Didn’t seem to understand the inherent camp of comic book stories. I didn’t really like the electric guy either, but at least he went big. Honestly, my favorite part of the series was how it looked in color. Insane that you’re given a black-and-white option. I started out thinking I would alternate episodes between versions. I watched the first one in b&w, then saw some screenshots in color and was immediately like, what the fuck am I doing? Before that, I had tried to find a consensus on which version was better, and everyone said “Both are great! Watch it twice to experience them both!” No, don’t. There is absolutely no reason to watch something shot digitally in black & white. It’s never going to look authentic. And the color here is amazing! They went all out. If I were in production design or costuming, I would be furious that people were missing out on the incredible work they did. But give me a version with Jack Huston recast, and now we’re talking!
6. Gail Daughtry and the Celebrity Sex Pass (2026)
There are jokes in here that fall so fucking flat. But other moments that bring in some classic David Wain absurdism that really got me good. I laughed at the book signing gag for the rest of the night. The story is knowingly silly and the cast is very charming. Always love Zoey Deutch. My celebrity sex pass is the Woody Allen ant from Antz.
7. Nightmare Cinema (2018)
I really liked this! All the segments were fun, some with a real Tales from the Crypt vibe. I’m a sucker for the framing device because it’s in a movie theater, and we see Mickey Rourke rewinding reels in the booth. Mickey is hilariously revealed after a segment about plastic surgery disasters, btw. There’s also a segment with a priest just massacre-ing children. Like I said, FUN. I had a nice time!
8. Intermission (2020)
Three teens can’t afford to see the new Fast & Furious movie, so they buy tickets to a Film Club screening of Bicycle Thieves because it has cheaper admission, and they plan to sneak in to Fast & Furious after a bit. But one teen is intrigued by Bicycle Thieves and sticks around. I was worried this would have a message about Bicycle Thieves being a better, or more important, work of cinema than The Fast and the Furious, which is obviously absurd. And it probably is saying that, but I chose to interpret it as a lesson that there is room for both. I mean, I don’t like both. Bicycle Thieves sucks. But I will watch and study and appreciate the value of both, and that’s something more people should be open to.
The other part of this that really spoke to me was that only a handful of people came to the Film Club screening, and no one wanted to stick around to discuss it with the host after. So, pretty much the same as when I screened Leprechaun 4: In Space. It doesn’t matter if it’s a realistic, cinematic classic about an emotional journey, or an old Italian movie, it’s fucking hard to get an audience to come out for an unfamiliar film. I related a whole lot to the Film Club host, and her disappointment, as well as the sprinkle of satisfaction from reaching at least one person. She wasn’t the main character, but it was ultimately her story that made this kinda special to me.
9. Fuel-Injected Dreams (1986 Novel) by James Robert Baker
Oppressively heterosexual at times, especially for something from a queer writer. But I still love Baker’s style, and how he incorporates the wildest ideas. There’s some incredible stuff at the end.
10. Taxi Driver (1976, Rewatch)* in the Canon
Disturbing to a degree that makes me concerned for the people who made it. To tap in so deeply to someone so pathetic, gross, and damaged. Paul Schrader was fucked up. But it seems like writing this was therapeutic for him. This makes me feel dirty and accosted in a way very few movies do. That conversation between Trav and Wizard where they say almost nothing to each other, but there’s just so much there about Travis, and how he’s trying to reach out for help but doesn’t have the means to find it. It’s really brilliant. My other favorite part is when Trav narrates “She appeared like an angel” and it cuts to Martin Scorsese sitting center frame, a couple seconds before Cybill actually steps onto screen.
By the way, I realize Paul Schrader and Martin Scorsese have denied this, but he is definitely dead or in a coma at the end. The letter from Jodie’s dad, and especially the thing with Cybill, come across so incredibly false, and it fits so perfectly into what Travis would want, what his exact fantasy would be. Why are the filmmakers trying to claim that it’s actually really bad writing? The rest of the movie is good writing. It makes no sense.
Personal Canon Entries
1-TV. Buffy the Vampire Slayer (1997-2003)
I accidentally posted about the movie last week, even though I had already included it pretty recently. But when it came up in the shuffle, I hadn’t identified it as the TV show. It’s not an interesting story, I’m just apologizing for posting something twice. Anyway, the television series! It’s been awhile since I’ve seen it! But when I did, it resonated so much. Such a smart, funny, emotional teen horror show. I was obsessed. And probably will be again when I have time to rewatch it. Sarah Michelle Gellar should be the biggest star in the world.
2. Guinea Pig: Mermaid in the Manhole (1988, Hideshi Hino)
Films about painters are always really bad. Too serious and uninteresting. This one got it right, though. Pus, blood, tumors, sewage, rotting, bugs, and more were all it took to finally make a great film about an artist! Here’s my old review of it.
3. Linda Blair
An actress I just adore! I’m captivated by chubby cheeks. She’s best known for The Exorcist, and she’s great in it, but it’s like the sixth movie I associate her with. She had a great run of very moving, emotional TV-movies with Sarah T. - Portrait of a Teenage Alcoholic, Born Innocent, and Sweet Hostage. Made a super fun rollerskating movie called Roller Boogie, then some super nasty exploitation features like Savage Streets and Chained Heat. The full spectrum of genres I love. And she always has such a sweetness and vulnerability that pulls me in. I’ve seen just about everything she’s ever done. I’m a huge fan, and I even got to meet her once and take an infamous photo that you can still find online by searching the words “instant virgin detector” or “hover hand”.
4-MV. Jan Terri: Losing You (1993, Mike Houtz)
Jan Terri’s big “hit”, when this was uploaded and labeled as The Coolest Music Video of All Time, only they didn’t use the word “Coolest”, but something far less accurate. I think it’s the Coolest, though! Jan is clearly a legend with perfect hair, I love her!
5-MV. She & Him: Why Do You Let Me Stay Here? (2008, Ace Norton)
We all had a crush on Zooey Deschanel in 2008, right? This video is bloody in the quirkiest way, which could easily annoy me, but I still think it’s super cute and charming!
6-MV. Magdalena Bay: Image (2024, Amanda Kramer)
Another entry that may or may not be crush-related. I’ve posted them before, cuz I just love their lo-fi aesthetic and silly effects.
7-MV. Nirvana: In Bloom (1992, Kevin Kerslake)
Nirvana as imagined on a 1950s talk show. I really love the concept, and think it’s a perfect match for the song.
8-MV. Insane Clown Posse: Hokus Pokus (1998, Steve Hanft)
I don’t know why this one is so funny to me. Like, ICP brainstorming a video concept, and being like “what if we worked at a shoe store?”
9-MV. Willam: Aileen (2018, Big Dipper)
This is freshly added to the Canon. I can’t believe it took me this long to see it! It’s a song about Aileen Wuornos, and Willam seems to idolize her just as much as I do, and even talks some shit about Monster!
10-TV. I Love Money (2008-2010)
This was my next favorite show after Buffy. A culmination of several VH1 …of Love shows, where trashy contestants competed in dumb games and had to make alliances with each other, and it was so compelling and just magical. Peak television here!
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